At a recent meeting of my parenting class, the topic turned to "How do you handle it when somebody does a job but they do it wrong?" I missed some of the discussion on this point because the question itself reminded me of a piece of advice I received at my wedding shower: Do not call a way your husband has of doing something WRONG simply because it is DIFFERENT from the way you would do the same thing.
I think we as parents need to keep this principle in mind not just with our spouses but also with our children. If my daughter wants to make her bed by starting in the middle and working toward the edges, what difference does it make to me? As long as her bed is made, the job is done. I do want to offer her my insight about how to approach certain tasks, but she has her own way of seeing the world and her own way of taking it on. And she may even have a way of doing things that is both a better fit for her personality and an objectively better method for the job.
If I want her to do the work without a fight and even value the work, I need to give her the freedom to try things her own way. If I want her to feel valued as a person, I need to honor her perspective, even if it is different.
